Displaced

Ha, culture shock coming into Singapore, much! My aunt Jenny had booked a hotel room- we were meant to stay together, but the incompetence personified that is British Airways messed that up- and it was pretty fancy :) So I went from lugging a 30kilo suitcase down flights of stairs to having bellboys at my command; from washing with buckets of cold water to a HOT massagehead shower and a swimming pool; from crazy Indo TV to cable in stacks o languages, including Australian TV (Hee hee, 'We could be heroes' is funny...); from no food available during Ramadhan to six restaurants within the hotel, and the most yummy roast duck for dinner. Mmmm.

Wandered the scarily expensive malls on Orchard Rd (HOW can there be so many Guccis and Louis Vittons in one strip???), wondered why Kate Moss seemed so overexposed (I guess Cocaine Chic is the new cool in the modelling world), bought myself a belt because I've lost a bit of weight. Then caught the MRT to the harbour, where I photographed the merlion, repelled the advances of a sleazy Indian guy, and visited the Asian Civilisations Museum, which I think may be the best museum I have visited.

Now I'm home. I'm tired, because I can't sleep on flights and my body aches (lack of sleep and cramped confines, I think). It's nice to be home, but so weird. Things feel familiar, but strange. My house feels EMPTY (but at least it's MY empty house, that's a step up on an empty Indonesian house). I am cold, and I crave rice! Half of my stuff is in boxes, including my clothes suited for today's cool weather, and I MUST have adjusted to the humidity because I am seriously cold. I feel much better when I am talking to people, so I will just have to try and up the socialisation!

Like Dorothy said, there's no place like home. I was starting to like the other place, and I want to see lots more places that are nothing like home. Right now I just want some people to make my house feel like home (a la The Castle :P). And some rice! :)

Learning about myself

Well, this trip has taught me a lot about myself already! I thought that I was strong, independent and brave. I also thought I was capable of making good decisions. I think was wrong.

I want to come home. I haven't even made it Padang, I've only been gone two days but I miss my friends and family so much. And I really, really miss Nick. If he was here, this wouldn't be scary. I don't think I can do this 'alone' thing. Especially not when I have a perfectly good relationship sitting at home. And I feel awful hearing that he is sad. It just makes me want to come back home even more. I really think I made the wrong decision to go on my own. WE could have gone somewhere together, but I am so impatient...

There are issues with my visa. First of all it couldn't get processed yesterday as originally expected, as the embassy was closed for Singapore National Day. And today it might not be ready in time for me to catch my flight, or may even be rejected on the basis of it being a digital photo (my school director keeps saying digital is ok, but my embassy go-between says no. We shall soon see who is right). So I might have to stay in Singapore for longer, maybe catch boats and things tomorrow. I DEFINITELY get boat sick.

None of these are world-ending issues. I could deal with them if there was someone else here. And I think I could deal with being in Padang on my own, because I would be working towards belonging somewhere. But here I am in transit. I don't belong anywhere, I don't feel comfortable or at home anywhere, and the longer I am here, there more that goes wrong, the more I remember that I am only a flight away from my loved ones... and is breaking a contract to a stranger so bad... I want to be strong, I want to be brave, but it's really, really hard. And I miss my boyfriend a lot.

Singapore-lah

Oy. I had too much baggage (WAY too much, but I AM going for a year, not a three week holiday like others on the flight), so had extra charges for that- kudos to the lovely lady at Ausrian desk for only charging me five kg extra instead of 15. :) Long flight (but hey, good food on Austrian, could have done with more leg room personally!

Disasters finding the hostel- turned out my taxi was parked just down the street from it as we sat and stressed because it wasn't in his directory... then the backpackers turned out to be upstairs, not a good thing with my HUGE bag. But I'm here, I have a bed, all is well.

Phew, 28 degrees when we landed at 10pm. Quite a shift from Melbourne, where I know it is due to rain tomorrow. Love y'all, miss you, but I'm here and safe :)